Monday, December 20, 2010


I feel like I have had a whole in my chest for the last week.It has been just over six months since Bill passed away and the other day I was upstairs getting something and I found myself wanting to go in and talk with Bill when I hit me like a ton of bricks that he wasn't there and all of sudden it feels as if my grieving has started all over again. Ever since that moment I find myself having more of those moments. I had one the other morning at Joseph's Christmas program while listening to Joseph sing and thinking Bill would have loved watching Joseph or we have had NO snow all winter here and all I can think is Bill would love this winter because he hated the snow.

I don't know if it is the season and all the focus on family and being with our loved ones that has brought all this about but I sure do miss him and I am not the only one. The other day Joseph asked me if he would be an adult when Papa comes back from heaven and all I could do was give him a hug. I know I should have answered his question but it's not the first time he has asked and I couldn't bring myself to tell him that Papa isn't coming back.

I am thankful for my Heavenly Father who can soothe my aching soul when I need it the most.


Honey said...

I'm so sorry, Lynsey. Those moments must be so hard. Love you.

Janie said...

I'm feeling the same thing about Dad. I can't, honestly, believe that I won't be getting a hug from him any time soon. And I really need one of his hugs. Good luck to you, Ben, Joseph, and especially your Mom this time of year. It sure seems to magnify what we're missing, huh?

nanajohanna said...

I appreciate reading your blog and the comments. I'm having such a hard time and don't know how to explain my feelings to anyone; it's nice to know I'm not alone anyway. I knew I wasn't but thanks for putting your feelings into words. Love you all.